The Rachel Chronicles

Losing a classmate

When I was a senior at Brandeis, a fellow '04 graduate died while I was in Israel for the week. I knew people who knew him. There was even a girl on that trip (who I later became close friends with) who was very close friends with this guy's sister. But I didn't know him. And being away, I missed most of the communal reaction. I remember saying to my mom, "My community is hurting, and I want to be there to support them". But there wasn't much that I could do. I know that a cloud hung over us for a while, but I went back to my regularly scheduled life, not really aware of the missing person.

Yesterday, another classmate of mine passed away. This time it wasn't a Brandeis classmate, but a JTS one. The difference being, 3000+ students at Brandeis and someone I didn't know vs. a class size of about 20 people. When we are ordained in a few short months, there will be a emotional hole in our hearts and a physical hole in our ranks. How do we exist as a class, while one of us is missing?

I don't have the words to express the sadness and pain that I am feeling. How does a 27-year-old, about to be married, about to be ordained as a rabbi, son of a rabbi that I care deeply about, die? That is not supposed to happen! 

Today is going to be a hard day, to say the least. And I imagine that there are many more sad days ahead of us.

My brother, the environmental activist

check out this video - it is of an event that my brother helped organize. You can find the article that goes along with the video here.

Cupcakes

On Monday night, I attended a cake decorating demonstration, hosted by the Brookline Adult and Community Education program, taught by Party Favors.

It was AMAZING. Previously, I had had only one encounter with their bakery - a friend brought cupcakes in to work, in honor of a few birthdays (mine, being one of them) last year. It was delicious and beautiful, but still, I had never gone into the bakery.

I didn't even think to bring my camera. Silly me! But between their website and their facebook group, I have a number of pictures to show you. It was like watching Ace of Cakes, but in person! So cool.

These daisy cupcakes were made in, like 30 seconds. Note the inch-thick pile of frosting underneath the flower? Woah. Too much for me, but I'm sure it is delicious.

More flowers. Notice the two toned frosting? It was made with a combination of white and pink/yellow. They also made some that combined the pink with the yellow. That was gorgeous.

Pansies. Beautiful.

This is actually a cake, but they did the same Elmo design on cupcakes too.

We also saw them decorate a beautiful wedding cake, with frosting made fall fruits and leaves on it. Also, a frog cake that was 3-D - very impressive! And of course, just a regular birthday cake with pretty flowers on it.

If I had more time, I'd take up cake decorating.

Lying and Telling the Truth

I came across this reading (shortened for use on this blog) in a book by Rabbi Dov Peretz Elkin called "Rosh Hashanah Readings". It arrived on my doorstep a mere two days ago, and I spent last night reading in bed, marking with a sticky note all the readings I wanted to insert into our High Holy Day services.

I was struck by this reading last night, and am still struck by it this morning. It may be more meaningful if read on Yom Kippur, before either Ashamnu or Al Chet - I haven't decided where I am going to place it.

A story told by Martin Buber, from Tales of the Hassidim, Early Masters:

Once, during the holy season of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, the Hasidic master Rabbi Levi Yitzkah of Berditchev, paused in his devotions and looking at his disciples with sad, tear-laden eyes, remarked, “What a funny world it is that we live in these days. There was a time, you know, when Jews would be scrupulously honest in the market place and be the most outrageous liars in the synagogue. These days, however, everything is reversed. The Jews are surprisingly honest in synagogue, but in the streets and market places, I’m ashamed to tell you…”

“But rabbi,” his followers asked, “why are you so distressed? How can it be bad if Jews are telling the truth in synagogue?”

“I’ll tell you why I’m distressed,” answered Levi Yitzhak. “In days gone by, Jews were known for their honest dealings. They took the words of Torah seriously. Their “yes” always meant “yes” and their “no” was always a “no”. They had honest weights and fair measures. Yet, on the Days of Awe, they would fervently recite the confessional prayers declaring that they had lied, cheated, swindled, and dealt dishonestly. THIS was a lie. Everyone knew that truth and faithfulness were the lamps lighting their way.

But these days, the reverse takes place. In the streets and in the market place, the world of commerce and social interaction, they lie and cheat, but when they come to the synagogue, they, sadly, profess the truth”

Maybe I like it so much because I just didn't see the punchline coming, and because it takes a small amount of processing to really understand it.

Shana Tovah.

I don't want to get stuck in a bathtub

I went into a meeting this morning fairly unprepared. There was just too much to do to prepare for it - besides, what was he thinking, scheduling a meeting the week before Rosh Hashanah?! And it was a preparatory meeting for GRADUATING and LOOKING FOR A JOB. (two ideas that make my heart beat a little faster, and my lungs gasp for air)

I needed to have a metaphor for my rabbinate and my Mayer-Briggs test results. I came up with the metaphor rather easily. It is something that I am writing about for one of my Rosh Hashanah sermons, that was taught to me a few weeks ago. Rabbi as Elephant Herder. Come to Adath Sharon first day of RH for more on that.

But I hadn't taken my personality test yet. I took it after the meeting, and you'll be pleased to know, that yes, I do have a personality! (budda bing) For those of you to whom this means something, I am an ESFJ, which is apparently a provider, just like William H. Taft, Barbara Walters, and J.C. Penney. Too bad having the same score doesn't get you a discount on clothes. 

Another interpretation shows that I have the same personality traits as Monica on Friends. Not surprising, and I probably could've told you that...but I like to think that I'd notice if a roommate moved out and am not quite as particular as she is about the cleanliness of her house! 

Take the test. Its short and kinda fun.

Ok, back to sermon writing and otherwise preparing for the High Holy Days which are quickly approaching.

"Nobody Puts Baby in the Corner"

On a scale of 1-5, my stress level has been a 7 for the past three weeks or so.

Here's a run-down on why I haven't been posting:

* After camp I went almost directly to my new job as an Ed. director at a shul. I started there three weeks before the school opened. A total of ZERO teachers had turned in their contracts.

* My 3rd and 4th grade teacher quit over $500. Then I replaced her and had a full staff for 6 days. Then my pre-K/K/1st grade teacher quit...on the Wednesday night before school started on Sunday morning.

* Even though I swore last year that I wouldn't still be writing my sermons the week before the holiday, the High Holy Days have snuck up on me once again, and here I am, still writing them. 

* JTS changed the day/time of Ordination (but hasn't finalized it yet) so it is conflicting with my grandmother's well intentioned plans to be at my cousin's graduation in North Carolina and mine in NYC.

* A classmate and friend has been in the ICU for over a week now, with no end to this ordeal in sight. Even when I'm not consciously thinking of him and his family, its weighing heavily on my heart. 

* My Nana was supposed to come over for dinner and then she got a flat tire. And had a flat spare. All about an hour before Shabbat started.

* I feel the weight of an entire congregation on my shoulders, and worry what kind of reaction my sermons will get.

* My left eye is bright red. Is this because I forgot to take off my mascara one night? Or because I haven't been sleeping? Or is there actually something wrong with it?

There have been a few saving graces though - a concert at the hatch shell, a good book club event,  an email waiting for me after Shabbat telling me of an available teacher, and the calming nature of holding a six-week old Mr. Max. There is little that de-stresses me faster than Max curled up on my shoulder, rubbing my arm and sighing softly. I am in love. How do I bottle him up and take him with me?

I think I need a night of watching Patrick Swayze movies on my couch....and possibly eating ice cream. Will I make it until Wednesday night, when I'm home from NY?